Living Alone, But Not Alone

Living alone for the first time in 50 years, Scarlett has a renewed interest in pre-planning meals for one. She always entertained people for special events, another couple over for dinner, or the ladies, and lunch was always in her wheelhouse. However, with many people her age, she finds it hard to entertain like she used to. Many have obligations not part of their life: grandchildren or sporting events the immediate families are involved in. A few get their pajamas on early and watch their favorite movies streaming on television.

Our older lives have changed from gathering at each other’s homes on a whim.

Now, some of us meet up on the front porch for adult beverages, that opened bottle of wine we did not finish, a cup of coffee on a Sunday morning, or some quickly created snacks prepared. It is a way to stay in touch with each other without a lot of fuss.

She misses those days with a partner in her home to talk to or sit in silence. Adapting to being alone will take some time.

The days of growing up in the deep South as a young woman are behind her, but the memories of learning how to cook in a pinch and keep a beautiful house in case company drops in are still with her daily. After all, a Southern lady never forgets her upbringing.

After 41 years of marriage, Robyn became a widow. Being alone and being lonely are two separate things.  At that time, it was about loneliness. She worked, did what she had to around the house, and nothing else. She went through the motions. In her heart, she knew that things could not continue that way. She had to live the best life she could. She put her legal, financial, and health affairs in order. She started to live again.  That’s what Steve would want.

Robyn doesn’t mind being alone. She will tell you that she has always enjoyed her own company. It is no surprise that she has been to Africa 3 times ALONE! She loves traveling alone. Things happen and conversations occur that probably would not if one had a traveling companion.

However comfortable she is alone, she does seek out others. It is the conversations and exchange of ideas that she relishes. She has a great curiosity about the world. Maybe she was a cat in a former life. LOL!

She misses the social life she shared with Scarlett in Louisville (coffee, brunches, lunches, potlucks, themed dinners, costume parties). It never happened anywhere else that Robyn lived. Her social life these days is much more casual. She meets friends for coffee regularly. They usually spend a couple of hours talking about everything. Since she is an avid reader, she joined a book discussion group. She and another friend watch for happenings in the area for new experiences to share. Her trips to see Scarlett, while too far apart, are always jam-packed with fun experiences.

Being alone has not changed Robyn’s cooking. Leftovers and meals in the freezer have always been her thing. So, she still makes that giant pot of chili. She divides it into single servings and stacks it in the freezer. She has enough chili to last till Spring. Through the summer she buys local fruit and places it in the freezer. She now has strawberries and peaches to use through the winter. Baking is one of her favorite things. Her friends are her taste testers for new recipes. Scarlett continues to send recipes she will eat it if Robyn fixes it.

Robyn is alone, not lonely. Her advice is this: put one foot outside your comfort zone and fly.

Robyn and Scarlett…friends for 38 years, Alabama and Kentucky are not that far away for this friendship.